English Vinglish

Every human being should know two languages: the language of society and language of signs. One serves to communicate with other people, the other serves to understand God’s message.

―Paulo Coelho

Literally speaking, the world eats, speaks and sleeps English these days. And there is no argument here. With 67 countries using English as their first or second language, English automatically scores over Mandarin as the language of the society. It is the most WIDELY SPOKEN, most WIDELY READ, and most WIDELY WRITTEN language of the world, a language that's capable of single-handedly linking several nations together. In fact, going forward, Chinese will speak more of English than Mandarin, thereby becoming the number one English speaking country in the world.

Flags of English speaking countries

    

So, when Coelho spoke about language of society, in all probability, he meant English. It is no more considered an elitist language, but the language of a common man…language of AAM AADM in India...the language of the masses… a language that’s powering the growth of modern India.

The rise of BPO and KPO culture in India, in turn, the rise of urban middle class can be solely credited to increased use of English language. The city of Bengaluru is best known as the “The silicone Valley Of India” because of its ever growing English speaking IT populace. Little wonder, even Narendra Modi, BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate, keeps harping upon the importance of English education in all his election speeches. 

For us Indians English is our second language. But some of us are so fluent in English that we can give any native speaker a run for their money. Many from affluent families have, in fact, ditched their native tongue and have taken to speaking English almost all the time: and I proudly proclaim that I am one of them.  I speak English at every given opportunity. Some people, including my dearest mom is not in favor for this. As she calls me: ANGREZ KI BETI.  But what I want to tell her is: "Mommy dear why don’t you understand that if i know the language what’s wrong in flaunting it, more so when English is being treated as the IT language of this century. Moreover, you made it a point to get me educated in an English medium school, so you too, in a way, acknowledge the rising importance of English across the globe.  So, then why bother me now."   

Why should you learn Queen’s Lingo?

    You become a part of the educated and sophisticated crowd. Your status gets elevated automatically. 

     Your confidence level shoots up and it positively contributes to your personality.

     You can earn your bread and butter with ease, what with IT companies coming up in every nook and cranny.

     You get to read the best of the books, from Salman Rushdie to William Faulkner.

     You can travel anywhere in the world for work and education as universe becomes a level playing field. 

Inspired by its growing importance and acceptance, all my non-English speaking neighbors have put their children in English medium schools. Though they are pakka Gujjus and can hardly speak and read the language, but these locals have not let these disadvantages deter their spirit. On the other hand, their steely determination to introduce their kids to the word’s most widely used language has inspired them hire tutors to help their kids cope with it. 

So if given an opportunity to go to UK for further studies, i look forward to pursuing English literature and creative writing; that too from none other than Oxford University. Yes, to be the best, you've to be among the best. Yours truly  being an aspiring author, a degree in English literature from UK, I believe, will help me polish my skills as a writer and probably will be my passport to international fame and prosperity. Considering the Queen’s Lingo originated here, I believe this is the best country to polish my English reading, writing skills.

About a year ago, I thought my English was par excellence, until one of my colleagues pointed out that I make silly punctuation errors. Okay, fine, I will work on it, I told her.  This colleague of mine is quite allergic to Indian authors and being an editor for a decade this female finds all Indian authors BELOW AVERAGE. In her words “the kind of punctuation errors these published authors make is really sickening. How could they? Indian writers are really pathetic in grammar, and that’s the reason why I don’t read them. I only read foreign authors”.

Point taken. For this colleague of mine,  grammar is the be all and end all of English. "Damn with the story" she says, " first of all, get your grammar correct." So of late, influenced by her pep talk I’ve started  Grishaming a lot. Mitch Albom and Dan Browns have taken  over Chetan Bhagat and Preeti Shenoy.  But then we do have good Indian English writers, and plenty of them in fact, who have made us proud on the international scene. These extraordinary writers of Indian origin  include Salman Rushdie, Jhumpa Lahri, Arvind Adiga, Amitav Ghosh etc, etc. And who’s the writer of  'A Suitable Boy? Ya, Vikram Seth. All these Indian authors have great  body of work to their credit. But one common thing that binds these authors is their foreign degrees. So, you see, they are not purely home bred authors. If it were not for their foreign degrees, I don't think these authors could have come this far. In other words, it is by virtue of their foreign degrees they could come up with truly great work of art that got them international attention and accolades.

So, if at all, I am given an opportunity to travel to UK on study visa, I look forward to studying English Literature and creative writing in the company of greats. Who knows if i am able to pursue this course, i  may even bag the Man Booker Prize, going forward. Ouch!!!Did i say that.

This post is part of Knowledge is Great contest being held on Indiblogger. 

Choice

"It's pitch dark outside; seems to be a forest.”

Ragini could hear her heart beat violently against her chest. It was now or never for her. The tyre couldn’t have chosen a better time to get punctured. Somewhere, behind the bushes she heard a tiger roar. Time was running out of her hands. She had a choice to make: become a wild’s animal prey and have her body torn apart, or be a prey to her kidnapper’s animal instinct and have her dignity torn into pieces.

Ragini jumped out of the car and ran toward the jungle wiping away her tears.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Chotu Dada

“Me...I'm CHOTU DADA.”

“Ah!!!… What? Chotu Dada?”

 “Hmm…that’s an interesting name?”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes?”

“Ah!!! I've been named so by my friends." And I too think they've given me an interesting name, probably because of the job i specialize in?”

“Oh!!! So, you've undertaken a job as well."

“Yes, protection of Sonu, Monu, Shambu, Tina, Meena, Rohan, Sohan who live on streets against beggar mafia goons.” 

“Oh! “Protection of kids living on streets against beggar mafia.” That’s a great job, you are doing.”  

“Ya, and, please don’t go by my looks.  I am ferocious creature, though I am only 2ft tall, my jaw can beat a tiger’s jaw hands down, my nails can be likened to a cat’s, my athletic skills can make a Cheetah jealous, moreover, I am more cunning than a fox could ever be.”

“That’s a great combination of varied skill sets. I am impressed.”

“Now, can you elaborate on your job a little?”

“Why not. My gang consists of 6 members. All ferocious and dangerous like me. We can easily nose beforehand, any trouble that’s about to brew on the city streets. My street friends can manage their basic needs easily. But what bothers me more is their security. Beggar mafia groups are lurking around every street corner. So I and my gang members have to be on high alert and protect our friends from them. Once they fall into their clutches, you know what they’ll do to them. They can maim them, blind them and then turn them into beggars in no time. I don’t want my friends to go through these suffering. You people have done precious little about the safety of street kids, so me and friends have taken it on ourselves to fight these mafia people tooth and nail."

                                    X_________x____________X

P.S. - According to official figures, as many as 44,000 children fall into the clutches of the beggar mafia in India each year and of these, hundreds are deliberately mutilated. However, some charities say that the figure could be as high as a million. Most of the victims are under ten.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127056/The-real-Slumdog-Millionaires-Behind-cinema-fantasy-mafia-gangs-deliberately-crippling-children-profit.html#ixzz2qnUGFRMg 

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Hollow Love!

He was bald, bent and black;
She was brown-eyed, beautiful, but blind;
Love blossomed, despite the bothering differences.
Her blindness is curable, said the doc
She wept in joy; but he in sadness, for the differences might bother them now.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Make-up Mess On My Engagement Day

The day of my engagement had dawned. Draped in a dark beatroot kanjeeveram saree I felt like a beauty queen. My mother and siblings seconded my views. ‘You look gorgeous’ said my mother. (Yeah! I was nothing less than an Aishwarya Rai for my mother.) I was on cloud nine.

However, a phone call from Max after the engagement ceremony shook me up from my dreams. “What had you done on your face,” taunted Max from the other end.  ‘Your make-up was monstrous today, and did you get that dirt off your face? He inquired, with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.

I didn’t like the way he spoke to me.  So, without wasting a minute I lashed out at him, left, right and center. I spat out as much venom as possible through the phone.

This phone call from my fiancée became a conclusive proof for me that your people are your people, after all. That is your mother and siblings. They will appreciate and applaud you, and be by your side, come what may. I must be really looking good on the day of engagement. Why would my mother and sister lie to me, after all? Of course, layers and layers of concealer and foundation were applied by the beautician to cover up all those blemishes and innumerable pimples on my face to better my looks. And I believed all that make-up made me look best among the rest.

Now in hindsight, that is after a couple of years, when I look through my engagement pics I feel, my make-up was undoubtedly loud. And while looking through Max’s eyes, it was somewhat monstrous as well. 

Two Golden Gifts From God – Aryan n Ayaansh

5 Special Gifts That’ll Help Safeguard Their Future

Just 20 days ago I was blessed with my second sweet little bundle of joy − Ayansh. My cutie pie turns 20 days old today and the first best gift that we as responsible parents have bestowed upon him on his arrival on this earth was to get his umbilical cord preserved. We did this because we were told that the preservation of umbilical cord would safeguard our child from various life threatening diseases such as cancer, thalesemia, diabetes and lots more. More than anything else, even my elder son Aryan would benefit from this preservation, we were told. So without giving way to afterthoughts we decided to get Ayansh’s umbilical cord preserved for a decent sum.

I know in case of Ayansh we set things off in the right track by preserving his umbilical cord, now the next big step, I as a concerned parent who’s worried about her kids future would be to get a child’s insurance policy. I and my hubby have been contemplating on taking HDFC’s Children’s Plan since we had Aryan in our midst eight years back, but so far haven’t done anything about it. Now with the arrival of Ayansh I believe things will have to move on a war footing.

The third best gift I believe would be to introduce my kids to the world of Books. Books have been a source of inspiration for me and I believe a single good book is equivalent to a 100 friends. And I want my kids to follow suit. Books are an epitome of knowledge and intelligence. It’s one of the best investments I as a parent would love to make on my kids; and not on gold and diamonds. Such valuables can be stolen but values and wisdom gained from books stays with you forever.   

The fourth best gift that comes to my mind is Higher Education.  These days, everyone seems busy getting a masters degree for him or herself. In other words, everyone is busy studying hard. Now to make my kids stand tall among the rest, I wish to be instrumental in helping them bag the best degrees from highly renowned and influential colleges. If they have the aptitude and the spirit, I may don’t have to do much, just a wee bit of financial help will do, and they on their own would make it. 

Last but not the least: Good Values. Every day, our news channels and newspapers are filled with negative stories. Stories of rape, murders, cheating, killing, kidnapping so on and so forth, dominate the media channels.  Since our kids are growing up in this hostile environs it’s difficult to keep them away from these happenings. So the best thing that I can do for them so that they could make out good from the bad, right from the wrong, is by making them aware of good values.  For this, I’d inspire my kids to read the Bible, attend Sunday masses, and read other spiritual and moral books. I’ve been doing this and it has been helping me a lot and I believe this is something which even my kids could gain from.

These are the first five gifts that came to my mind immediately on seeing the title for this post. Hopefully, with God's grace, I wish to gift these precious gifts to my darling lil ones sooner than later.

Cheers   

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda

Tyrant Toms Terrorizing Jerrys

Media, these days, has its daggers drawn out against some tyrant Toms and rightly so: starting off with the Tejpal case to the newbie on the block, the retired Supreme Court judge A K Ganguly. (Here the culprits have followed one definite pattern though, targeting the juniors; because vahan shayad dal jaldi gale.)

Both Tejal and Ganguly have been accused of sexually harassing their juniors. When Tejpal’s case was out in the open, I was smiling away gleefully; at least …at least someone had the courage to spill her guts and pull the rug off from a high-flying boss’s feet. At least, at least, someone this time had supporting parents who didn’t mind their daughter playing the role of a victim cum protagonist in a sexual harassment case. At least, at least someone this time had not let ‘sab chalet hai' attitude come in her way of seeking justice and  then blindly sweeping the incident under the carpet.

Anyway, I am damn sure; this was not one of rare incidents. The bosses’ misdoings must be famous all along among his acquaintances and friends.  While most of them might have turned a blind eye to his immoral acts, some might as well have given in to his wild fancies. After all, the entire question boils down to who’ll the bell the cat? Specifically, when the cat here in question is mighty powerful and comes with political strings attached.  What is difficult to digest though is how come the watchdogs of democracy who frame and propagate laws, even sexual harassment laws for that matter, so easily distance themselves from the very laws they had come to be associated with?        

The retired Supreme Court judge AK Ganguly was reported to have made sexual advances towards his intern, despite her clear and vocal disapproval. The advances were made on her on Christmas Eve last year at Delhi’s Le Meredian Hotel.  It is being reported that the intern literally ran out of the hotel room, while the judge followed her down to lobby offering apologies.

Both these men come under the fatherly and grandfatherly figure category. The Jerrys' must be of their daughter’s age.  Apparently, what appears from both these cases is that it’s easy to victimize junior most employees, who are yet to familiarize themselves with the ways of the corporate world.

That said, even senior female employees are not safe from the evil designs of their bosses. My hubby once mentioned that his boss, an oldie and an IIM graduate at that, had proposed to one of the senior most female employee.  Nope, she was not unmarried. In fact, she was a mother to two adorable kids. Nope, she never wore skimpy clothes. In fact, she was always draped in complete 9 yards. Nope, she never once showed any inclination towards any relationship. In fact, on hearing her boss’ indecent proposal, she decided to opt for ‘work from home’ option.

Okay, agreed, there may be several women who’d love to climb on the back of their bosses and then stand on their shoulders to climb up the corporate ladder, but that doesn’t mean all women are cut from the same cloth and will give into bosses unreasonable fantasies and demands.

I hope, these two high-profile cases awaken all wayward bosses from their slumber and don’t take a women’s dignity for granted. I hope, these two powerful men get an appropriate comeuppance for outraging a women’s modesty outrightly. 

Love Across The Lines

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 44; the forty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. 

Ayesha’s gaze fell like a grenade on him. He became breathless and blindfolded. Suddenly, the world turned blank for him. And this ― and this was not the first time he was going bonkers over her beauty.  

Ayesha, his junior, was hauntingly beautiful. Her 1000 watt smile alone could warm an Everest, he thought.

And then she was wearing that cream-colored salwar kameez that complemented her fair skin so well.  As she sashayed in the direction of her desk, the entire class seemed to eye her, but she ― she had her eyes only for Aahan – the Ice Prince.

“Look, she’s eyeing you,” one of his friends had mocked playfully at him.

“Hey!” guys give me a break,” he heard himself say, and then gritting his teeth had looked the other way.

                                                                 ###

A second year arts student of St. Michael’s college, Mahim, Ayesha was everything that Aahan was not. She was breathtakingly beautiful; she had an amiable personality; she was an avid reader and writer etcetera, etcetera. All these qualities gave Aahan great complex. In fact, she used to ghost write for one of the leading magazines in the city. His friends, once mentioned that she had connections that helped her publish stories, but Aahan took these allegations with a pinch of salt.

Aahan, the admirable singer, Aahan the awesome sculptor was literally in awe of Ayesha. 

“Undoubtedly, Aahan and Ayesha look great together, but aren't they as different as chalk and cheese.” Guessing their relationship status was the favorite time-pass talk of the college, considering their diverse backgrounds.”

                                                                 ### 

The festival season was full-on in the college campus. Festival season, in other words, was meant to be a dating season in the college. Love was in the air. It was also the time of the year when the seniors and juniors, keeping their differences aside, got their acts together. It was also that time of the year when you could freely freak out; damn the classes. It was also the time of the year when no-nonsense Professors, for a change, would turn a blind eye to students’ idiosyncrasies.

                                                                ###                         

“Hey, Aahan are you participating in the singing competition,” inquired Ayesha, trying to make light of the situation.  “I heard top celebrities from Bollywood are going to grace the occasion. It would be golden opportunity for you to showcase your talent to the outside world.”

Aahan’s heart leapt, adrenalin surged, his nostrils taking in the sweet smell of  her perfume. But except for flashing a smile and nodding his head in acknowledgment, he turned blank as usual. All he could gather was a mild “Uh, huh ya, ya ya ya .”

But what he left unsaid was, “I am quite confident of myself, just don’t give me that look of yours… Ayesha”.

                                                                ###

Aahan climbed on the stage confidently. Within no time he was his usual self, belting out melodious songs of yesteryear's. The college auditorium reverberated with his mellifluous voice.  The applause and you-are-too-good-to-be-here expression on the judges’ face propelled Aahan on to a higher plane. He was totally lost in his songs…

But then suddenly his eyes fell on Ayesha. That was enough. He stood there, stunned and startled. Hypnotized. Despite his best efforts, he seemed to forget his lines. Panic crept up his throat. His friends, standing at the sidelines, knew it was a gone case now: Aahan, the singer was gone now, and Aahan the ashique of Ayesha had taken him over completely. Even then they continued cheering him. 

“Aahan sing,”shouted his friends. But Aahan had gone deaf to their pleas.

When cheers were replaced by cat-calls and boo, it was then Aahan got a sense of his surroundings... that he was standing in the middle of the stage and making an ass out of himself. In no time, he hurried down the stage and found an empty room for himself to hide his embarrassment. 

Quietly, he closed the door and knocked his head against it, thinking, “How could he act so cowardly? Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.  It was really idiotic of him to behave so spinelessly, that too before an august audience and Ayesha. How would Ayesha react to this?” 

                                                               ###

The next day after the lectures, Aahan along with his gang of friends were busy executing a class project. The semesters were fast approaching and they had to complete the assigned projects ASAP. Aahan was so involved in sculpting the Taj Mahal miniature that he didn’t realize Ayesha was nearby. He realized her presence only when she touched him on his shoulders.

With a jerk he looked up. The touch was shocking yet excruciatingly pleasurable...and...and...
He loved this feeling. His heart raced a mile-a-minute. As calmly as he could, he blurted out. “Ahem! Ah! Ah! How are you Ayesha?” as he used every ounce of his will power to maintain his composure.  

Without saying a word, she motioned him to join her. Both of them walked towards a quiet corner of the campus. After a short silence, Ayesha rummaging through her silk jhola bag held out a Shakespeare’s book and a CD for him.

 “Romeo and Julliet! Is this for me?” Aahan questioned coming out of his hypnotic trance.

“Yes, of course,” she murmured and smilingly went her way.

Aahan knew what the book meant. But just to confirm his doubts he asked one of his friends.

“What do you think? Has she proposed me through this book and CD.”

“Of course.”

Aahan felt elated. He liked Ayesha a lot, but always failed to express his feelings, given her background and religion. But, now with her proposing, there’s was a new ray of hope in his life.

“The made for each other feeling' may not just remain a feeling but a real fact of life, after all”, pondered Aahan. 

                                                             ###

Ayesha’s worried friends, on the other hand, dissuaded her from displaying her feelings for Aahan.

But she seemed completely taken by Aahan’s innocence and talent. He was knight in the shining armor for her. 

“ O Mere Maula’ Ayesha, you proposed Aahan, proposed Aahan, of all people ― a Hindu.” Said her friends. Ayesha felt offended and simply stomped off the college corridors.  She knew the proposal will lead to one of the biggest emotional upheavals of her life. She knew that she was a Pakistani ambassador’s daughter, which might make matters even worse for her.  

                                                             ###

Despite Ayesha’s parental reluctance and resistance, Aahan and Ayesha tied the knot after three years of courtship. They were wed both according to the Hindu and Muslim rites.  The best part being Allah and Ishwar did come together support their love, because contrary to her belief, matters turned out to be smooth in the Aahan household.  

Her in-laws were pretty accommodating.  While Aahan was busy establishing himself as a sculptor, Ayesha focused on fine-tuning her cooking skills.  

“Your Pakistani delicacies taste so good,” her MlL told her time and again, encouraging her to widen her cooking knowledge. “Given your writing skills, who knows you could author a cookbook some day.”   

Within no time the stork came calling and the beautiful couple was blessed with twins ― a girl and a boy. The couple led a jolly good life, until one day she heard an unusal knock at the door.
                                                                   ###

Uniformed visitors were at their door steps. Ayesha answered the door. The sight of police at her doorstep gave her goose bumps. They simply barged in and within no time she was handcuffed. Her in-laws came rushing in to her aid. Since Aahan was not at home, they couldn’t do much to help her.  

“It’s is a police case. We should not get involved.” “Moreover, she’s a Pakistani, this had to happen sooner or later.” The neighbours gossiped.

When Aahan reached the police station, he was informed by the officials that his wife’s visa had expired and plus her Pakistani passport was not revalidated. So, the next day she would be presented in the session court, where the future course of action will be decided on.

                                                                  ### 

The session court judge directed the Mumbai government to deport her to Pakistan. The court deportation order hit Aahan and Ayesha like a lightning bolt. They both broke down in the court. Suddenly their beautiful world came crumbling down.

Ayesha pleaded with the judge saying that she had no one to go to in Pakistan after spending 15 long years in India. In fact, her parents would be upset with her return.

The judge fired back saying, you had enough time to extend your visa and passport. Since you had taken your stay in India for granted, you have to face the music.

Aahan and Ayesha were so busy in their world that they never realized that her visa and passport had expired. She was overstaying in India illegally.

                                                                  ###

Aahan was not ready to give up on the only love of his life so easily. He appealed to the higher courts on humanitarian grounds. He pleaded with them, saying if she was sent back, she would probably be killed by terror outfits for marrying a Hindu. And if not the terror groups, then her parents would. After all honor killing was a new-age phenomenon.

The lawyers and judges turned deaf ears. The law of the land has to prevail, they said. 
“Nothing doing deport her,” came the judgment.

                                                                   ###

Aahan didn’t have the heart to send Ayesha back to the terror state.  But what could he do now. He simply caught hold off her hand and rushed towards the waiting car.  

The police stood there stunned, trying to comprehend the situation…but everything was over in matter of seconds.

                                                                   ###

In no time they were on a flight to Dubai. Yes, Aahan had an inkling that it would be sometime before Ayesha's passport and visa could be extended, so settling down in a neutral country was a safer option.  

Today, the Aahan family has made Dubai their abode, for they had experienced enough enmity and bitterness in their own respective countries. They didn't want their children to grow in such a hostile, inhospitable environs. SO they decided...better to live in land where their religion and nationality never aroused suspicion. Better to live in a land where they do not have to fear losing their loved ones to communal clashes. Better live in a land where they could really live and love each other forever. 

P.S. I've changed the climax of the story becoz I and my fellow bloggers were not too happy killing the protagonist. 

This is a fictional story, but the fact of the matter is that today you will find many Pakistani women who lead separate lives away from their Indian husband and kids because of inconvenient visa and passport extension issues. 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 03

Credits :
Image - Love in the air by Anand
Courtesy - Apple Blossom's Photography via www.blogaton.in

Books A Blessing In Disguise

She was an island unto herself;
Utterly self-contained, and happy to be so;
Her books gave her the best company.
Drinking in the smell of old books and new;
She read, wrote and edited, hours on end.
She felt blessed to be a bibliophile.
With just three of her faculties functioning; life had indeed been fair to her;
For thinking of a life beyond books was quite unimaginable.
And thankfully her paralysis had brought her closer to her books; like never before.

 She’s busy penning a romantic novel these days;

And hopes the book make it to the bestseller list. 

Write Tribe's Wednesday Prompt: The Smell Of Old Books