Prayer time huh???

When Worship Becomes Work!

 

                              My prayer time is precariously perched on a high hill;

                          A gust of worldly wind and it gets toppled down with a heavy thud.

But, I  push myself and I  push myself hard(exaggeration);

to pray a little more, to pray a little longer.

But the mental sounds of my mind are too strong,

What about the unattended tasks at hand?

Do I've enough time in hand, to waste my time on God?

Now, my prayer time comes under serious threat.

So, unless I turn my prayers into a "must-do task", I figure, it would be least/or never attended to at all.

Prayer time! Hardly time! So, I've chosen the most pathetic time to pray (and, I 'm pretty stingy at that, just 15min). When half the world is in deep slumber and when I too am groggy with sleep, its time to turn my attention to God.

I kneel down. My knees give away.  My mental and physical stamina has exhausted. So, with one hand on the bed, and the other precariously holding the prayer book, I push myself on my knees, try to retain somewhat of my physical and mental balance; and I start reciting my prayers with great reluctance.

"Why am I punishing and pushing myself to pray?" you might wonder.  Simply because prayers keep me sane.

A Prayer:

Keeps me sane,

Keeps me grounded,

Makes me more human,

Makes me generous,

Makes me charitable,

Makes me kind,

Makes me humble,      

Makes me prudent,

It's a medicine to my misery

But, in the recent years, my prayers have lost intensity. But believe me, I don’t blame myself for this. When you are a busy-body - a full-time employee, a part-time mother cum tutor, a some-time wife, and anytime reader - how on earth do I find some meaningful time for my daily prayers.

Prayers are a gateway to heaven, people say. Granted. It gives peace to mind. Agreed. But where's the time? Half way through the rosary at night and I am not sure whether I am sleeping or praying. My 15 min of prayers start and end in a jiffy. Half of my Lord's Prayers and Hail Mary’s go unsaid. The ones said are lost half way. At the end of it, I ruminate about the emptiness of this whole exercise. But 15 min means 15 min for me - b’coz my heart is willing, but flesh is weak.I hope God will understand. He forgives and forgets, and so he is called God, the Almighty

But, I fear his wrath. For I believe - no prayers, no blessings. Don’t you think a life bereft of blessings will be a curse? I already have a list of must-have blessings in place. I know, only through soulful prayers I could convey them to God.

But where's the time to pray? Only if God understands.

Without a doubt, only a marathon prayer session is a way towards blessings - this is my belief, many might not concur with the same philosophy.  For most, prayer is helping the poor.  For most, prayer is visiting the sick. For most, prayer is all about adopting an orphan and giving a new life. For most, prayer is spending time with the old...the list goes on and on and on. But tell me one thing, from where to we get this mindset from? This humble, generous mindset. I believe it's through prayers. No, no, one's doesn't have to follow a strict schedule for that. Just remembering his name is a prayer in itself.

But for me prayer time is self-analysis, soul-searching, meditation time and all. A time to dwell on my behavior and to better myself.  And, I missing on it big time.   

Keep Praying,
Jini Maxin

  

The Pelican Brief

Title: The Pelican Brief
Author: John Grisham 
Pages: 450
Source: Personal
Last Word - An Engaging Read

After reading Grisham back to back – The King of Torts, The Testament, and The Confession - I thought that Grisham writes with an overwhelming spiritual bend, but The Pelican brief made me think otherwise. This legal thriller turned out to be very different for me. An engaging one though.

The chemistry between Darby Shaw, the protagonist and a law student, and Thomas Callahan, her professor, is pretty interesting. Shaw is a potent combination of beauty and brains. Killer Khamel’s portrayal as a cool, consummate murderer catches your attention. Then there are other characters that come and go by, adding their teeny-weeny bit to the story. As you keep turning the pages of the book you realize it’s a complete filmy masala – yes, a film adaptation of the book was released in 1993 starring Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington. The pace of the book is perfect. The plot is pulling. You don't have to do much to get get drawn into the story.

The assassination of two Supreme Court Justices - Rosenberg and Jensen- shakes the entire country. The President is clueless. The FBI is clueless. The judiciary is clueless. The CIA has begun a wild goose chase. No one knows anything. Anyone and everyone of some social standing is trying hard to nail the culprit. But nothing seems to fall in place. But Shaw, after some thorough research, seems to have found a lead and comes up with a brilliant brief. The brief, called the ‘Pelican brief,’ seems to point fingers at none but President’s close associate and oil tycoon Victor Mattiece. The killers get a wind of what Derby was up to and now she is on their radar. They have already killed her lover Callahan and his friend Verheek. Now it’s her turn. Shaw is on the run. She changes her appearance, her look, her hair, her hotels. But the killers are trailing her. She’s been stalked every day because the killer wants to destroy her - the creator of Pelican brief.

The turning point in the story comes when she pairs up with a Washington Post journalist Grantham Gray to nail the real murderers.

Overall a great read. And, of course, the story about the endangered Pelicans of Louisiana is intriguing, which sets you thinking whether the Pelicans are really facing extinction. This calls for some R & D rightaway.